Boy Crazy Bimbos

What happens to girls after “The Boys are Gross” stage? Well, I can tell you what happens to some of them – they go effing crazy!! I have friends who I think have actually lost their minds over the last couple of years. Adolescence I think for me has been a normal experience, and I have had my share of short-lived teenage crushes. But that is just it – they were all short-lived and they were all just crushes. I am only fourteen, but I am certainly smart enough to know that the average life expectancy of a teenage relationship is well – probably over before I can even complete this sentence. I am definitely not about to sacrifice my dignity or any part of my anatomy over a boy, but it never ceases to amaze me just how many teeny-bopper girls out there are willing to leap the boundaries of sexual aggression.

Not only is it members of the opposite sex that evoke such insanity, adding a camera to the mix is like igniting a hormonal explosion that instigates immediate panty-dropping. These girls will strike a scantily-clad pose without the slightest regard of what will happen to their revealing expose. If you can’t believe that just take a look at Joe Francis and his, “Girls Gone Wild” empire. He has made millions of dollars off the fact that these girls not only like to “take it all off” for the camera but will offer themselves up to feast like a Thanksgiving Turkey. I’m sure it leaves a father feeling proud that his daughter’s movie debut is an exclusive on a “Girls Gone Wild” video.

I have an ex friend who I shall call Bimbette for reasons that will become obvious. My friendship was severed with her as I saw her sexual promiscuity spinning out of control. In other words - she just could not seem to keep her legs closed. She would not listen to rational advice from me or anyone else regarding her sexual exploits; therefore, in order to preserve my own reputation I was forced to end our friendship.

By the time Bimbette was fourteen she had already been through several sex partners, sneaking out of her house late at night on a regular basis to go and meet them. I would be left alone in her room while she was out doing…. whatever it was she was doing. Not only was I disgusted with the idea which I could hardly fathom, I would constantly stress out over the thought of trying to explain her absence. Unknown to her parents, she was constantly pushing her luck by sneaking back in the house just in-the-nick-of time. Well, on one of those many evenings together Bimbette and her boy friend found it to be a good idea to snap a picture of themselves in one of their most intimate moments with her head positioned strategically in his crotch. I should not have to explain the photo any further – what was going on should be obvious.

Some time later it seems Bimbette was caught cheating on her boy friend, forgetting that the compromising photograph was still in his possession. He took out his revenge by mass-producing the photo and mailing it out to all the members of her family including her grandparents. I can tell you that it made for extremely interesting dinner conversation.

So if all you boy-crazed girls out there can only take one thing away from all of this, just remember to stay away from the camera. If you allow those intimate photos to be snapped this week, you could just end up as next weeks poster girl for the overly sex-ploited.

Pedophile's Paradise

A few days ago I was introduced to a new website known as Omegle.com. This website was started back in March by an 18 year old and promotes the fact that you can chat with random anonymous strangers anywhere in the world. At any given time there is no less than 2700 people online, and you can only chat with one person at a time. With no age limit and the lack of moderation, it seems as if this 18 year old has created a pedophile’s paradise. I decided to test my theory with my mother sitting close at hand. Through several conversations I was asked a mass of inappropriate sexually explicit questions leaving me to quickly hit the disconnect. It was as if every perv in the world was online sitting in wait for any unexpecting teen to try and manipulate their way into personal and private information. So just a word of warning out there for all those who chose to visit this site, be very vigilant with the information you chose to relinquish to strangers.

Kevin Jonas Getting Married?

21 year old Kevin Jonas recently announced his engagement to long time girlfriend, Danielle Deleasa. So ladies, if you’re in the market for a Jonas Brother you have one less to choose from. I guess his purity ring is beginning to strangle the life out of his virginity – be careful Kevin, you know what happened to Jessica Simpson!

The Last Encore for MJ

Like most everyone yesterday I sat glued to my television watching as the Michael Jackson memorial unfolded. I did not even realize at the time the enormity of the procession until I watched the evening news last night and saw how it was actually viewed around the entire world - even Lebanon of all places. It is only in his death that the world has come to realize the tremendous gift he has actually left behind for all ages and that music really is the language of our universe.

Over this past weekend my mother and I were in L.A. and happened to ride down Sunset Blvd passing the intersection that leads to where Michael Jackson was residing. Glancing over we could see the numerous banners, cards and flowers that well-wishers had left behind. I do regret now that we did not have time to stop and take in the moment - just a reminder of how the rush of life sometimes gets in the way.

As his last encore for the world to see, I don't think I will ever forget the image of his eleven-year-old-daughter, Paris, telling the world what a great father he was. It was such a courageous task for someone who has been hidden from the world for the past eleven years, and I don't think anyone watching at that very moment could hold back any tears. As for Michael Jackson himself, I certainly don't think we have heard the last of him. His persona was larger than life itself, his spirit will remain and his memory will live forever.

Toe Jam on Americas Got Talent

Last night it was L.A.'s turn to preview their best of the best for Americas Got Talent. Who would have guessed that dancing crusty toe jam has now become a talent. Wish I had thought of that Monseiur Pedicure. Where do they find these people?

The Great Barrier

I refer to “The Great Barrier” as the line that separates us from our parents. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are great, and I do have a great relationship with them. Believe it or not, they do live in the twenty-first century... most of the time. However, there is a thick, invisible line that separates most parents from their teens. I also refer to it as, “The Big Lie.” It’s not a lie that kids tell their parents, but rather a lie that parents tell themselves. Denial is the ultimate self-deceit. Parents seem to think that it’s always someone else’s teen that causes the trouble when their…..perfect child…..cough… cough… would never do such a thing.

To give you a somewhat twisted take on this observation, I offer you my own family as an example. I have two stepbrothers who I refer to as tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. They both live with their mother in another state which I will not mention. My older brother, Tweedle-dee is now fifteen and has always been considered the, “troublemaker” of the family. He has a history of lying, cheating and manipulating to get what he wants while my younger brother, Tweedle-dum has always been known as, “the perfect child.”

This is where the story gets interesting. A few weeks ago, Tweedle-dee (aka Big Bro) got into a bit of trouble when it was assumed that he had purchased a two-hour porn flick, charged it to his mother’s credit card and stored it in the, “my videos’ section on his computer. Now, I know my big brother pretty well, and I know him well enough to know that if he did purchase the flick: first, he would not have been stupid enough to purchase it with his mom’s credit card and second, he certainly would not have stored it in such an obvious place. So I’m thinking, “What the heck!” There must be a lot more to this story and indeed it was.

When the true story was finally revealed, I was a bit shocked to find out what had really happened. Not only was tweedle-dee innocent of this heinous crime but now he is using it as blackmail against tweedle-dum. Poor Baby Bro….How could this be? His mother would never believe that her perfect son would commit such an act. I guess that also means that she doesn’t know why her lotion products are depleting while he is spending a lot of extra time in the bathroom.

I guess somehow there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. First, if you are a parent remember that the obvious is not always true and things are not always as they appear. Second, don’t ever let your big brother take the rap for you – you’ll spend a lifetime paying for it. Lastly, if you’re like my older brother you need to reanalyze your past behavior – there’s a reason why you got blamed for it in the first place.

Michael Jackson's Last Performance

This is a video of rehearsal on June 23rd for Michael Jackson's, "This is It" tour in what would ultimately be his last performance......Pretty Awesome Michael!!!!! As the Greatest Entertainer Ever........... you will definitely be missed.