Talking Sex With Teens

Unlike most of the households with teenagers that I know, in my house sex is a topic for open discussion. But then again, I don’t think my parents are your typical prudish patriarchs who would never dare to utter “such a word” around their teenagers.

My dad told me when he was growing up that the topic of sex was taboo with his parents, so he just learned about it from his friends at school. Knowing my grandparents like I do I can certainly believe that was true. What my grandparents didn’t know at the time was that my dad was already sexually active and probably knew more than they did about sex. Although that was over twenty years ago and my grandparents were extremely naïve, the point of the matter still holds true today – communication between teenagers and their parents regarding sex is far too often kept quiet, ignored or totally disregarded altogether.

A good friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, lives in an extremely strict household. Her parents hardly ever allow her out anywhere and when they do she has a very strict curfew. Sex has never been discussed by either of her parents, and she says if she even approaches the subject with her mother she is met with a rather harsh dismissal as if her questions or opinions just don’t matter. What her parents don’t know about her is that she had already lost her virginity at the wee age of thirteen and was having sex before she had to be home for curfew.

Well, it seems one day not too long ago my mother and I were having a conversation when the issues with my friend arose. It seems my mother knew her mother in high school and I was shocked to find out how sexually promiscuous her mother was back then. In other words, she got around a lot and was even given a pet name by a group of high school boys which I can not mention on this blog. I was thinking that my friend would probably be absolutely mortified to find out this juicy piece of information except that I feel that it is not my place to tell her.

I can certainly understand why my friend's mother feels the need to keep her past a secret; however, dismissing the subject of sex was a mistake that I feel cost my friend her virginity in the first place. She couldn’t get the answers she was looking for from her parents, so she went out looking for them elsewhere. So, what I'm trying to say is this, parents, if you are reading this you should have learned something by now! If you’re not talking to your kids about sex, trust me, their going to hear about from someone else. That someone may or may not be knowledgeable or even truthful for that matter. I know it is a difficult subject matter but in the end you have to ask yourself one question, “Do you want your kids to learn about sex from you, or a stranger”?