What! Edward Cullen Couldn't Stop A Cab?

It seems two weeks ago “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson was hit by a taxi while running from a group of crazed teen fans. Luckily, his jelly-starched five foot hair wasn’t harmed during the accident. However, the fact that ‘Eddie Boy’ couldn’t seem to stop a cab after bashing his fist into a speeding van raises questions. His responses in recent interviews have been reduced to incoherent gibberish at best leaving one to ponder, “Is the glittering vampire chronically stoned or is he just loosing his edge”?

Thanks Mr. Sparkles, you made my day!